So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
