honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
