maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
