i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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