Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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