He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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