we're blogging at a bar
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
