would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
