At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
