Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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