Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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