can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
