Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He felt like a one man threesome
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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