also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
