Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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