I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
