Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
