Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
sick fucks of a feather flock together
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
