from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
