You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the condom got lost in my hair
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i out mim tonsoeep
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
