he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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