Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He kissed a someone with a penis
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
