Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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