In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
