I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
