grandma shit on top of the toilet
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
