Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize