I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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