Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
