we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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