Dual....:-)
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
