When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize