Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
