DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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