Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
