She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
