my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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