yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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