halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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