just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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