I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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