...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the condom got lost in my hair
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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