Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
