My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
