.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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