his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
