Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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