I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
