Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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