He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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