I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
