R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
