I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
