At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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