Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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