as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
