Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
