All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
