Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
