Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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