Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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