She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
