A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
