I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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