Define "chronic" masturbator.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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