Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You made out with two different species that night
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
