Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize