If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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